If I Have to Walk Away
by alliesings
Summary: Contains spoilers for S7 ep. Fragile Balance.


TITLE: If I Have to Walk Away  
  
AUTHOR: Allie O'N  
  
EMAIL: alliesingshotmail.com  
  
CATEGORY: missing scene, angst  
  
PAIRING: Sam/Jack  
  
EPISODE RELATED: Fragile Balance  
  
RATING: PG  
  
STATUS: complete  
  
SPOILERS/SEASON: 7  
  
FEEDBACK: please :) Feed the writer, feed the muse.  
  
DISCLAIMER:  
  
"All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author."  
  
SUMMARY: Jack and his clone have to come to grips with the life the clone is giving up.  
  
AUTHORS NOTE:  
  
I think I needed to write this. Thanks to Robert, who is the best beta.  
  
"If I Have to Walk Away"  
  
Colonel Jack O'Neill stood in the middle of his bedroom, watching his younger self fumble with the family picture that usually sat on his nightstand. "You can have that if you want. You should have something . . . but --"  
  
"I'd have a hard time explaining the wife. Besides, Sarah's not who I want to remember."  
  
"You can have one of Charlie. He could be a brother or a cousin."  
  
"Can't you be honest with yourself, just for once?"  
  
The older Jack motioned for his counterpart to keep it down. "She's out there, you know."  
  
"Yeah." The bitterness sounded wrong coming from someone so young. "She's sitting in your living room, waiting to say good-bye to me, and now it's too late."  
  
"Hey! She's too old for you."  
  
"And you're too old for her!"  
  
He had no answer for that.  
  
"Well," the teen hesitantly met the older man's eyes, "that's not true."   
  
"It isn't?"  
  
"No." He stood up, and started walking slowly around the room. "Loki gave me your whole consciousness. I've wanted her as much as you have for the last four years. At least that's how it feels, but I have one memory that you don't have."   
  
"Go on."  
  
"When she came to tell me that I was dying -- she thought I was you, and that she was going to loose you. I saw the pain in her eyes, and I wanted to hold her, to kiss it all away. Just as I was about to reach for her, I realized that I couldn't."  
  
"I've never let the regs keep me from giving Carter a shoulder to cry on."  
  
"But that's just it! These bony little shoulders weren't enough. She needs you! If I'm really going to just walk away from my life and my friends and the woman I . . . love." He took a deep breath, looked down, realized that he was still holding the picture, and dropped it on the bed. "You'd better take care of her."  
  
"I haven't lost her yet . . . for too long."  
  
"You know, for most people, 'cheating death' is a cliché. For SG1, it's a job description. Well, I've managed to cheat death again, but I can't say I've saved my life. Leave it to Jack O'Neill not to realize it until it's too late. All I can ever have are memories now. But for you. . . she's right out there."  
  
The young man started to zip up his duffle bag.  
  
"You know it's not that easy."  
  
"Does Colonel Jack O'Neill ever do anything the easy way? Besides, you and Carter need to get married so you can have the next generation of genetically superior kids."  
  
Jack felt a smile spread across his face. "I've been thinking that."  
  
"It would be a crime against the human race -- and the Asgard race for that matter -- not to. Find a way . . . and send me a wedding invitation so I'll know she's finally happy."  
  
"Oh, here." Jack held out a wallet-sized picture of Charlie. "He was a great kid."  
  
"And cute too. Ya' know, Carter said I was cute."  
  
"She did?"  
  
"Yeah, but Teal'c seems to doubt your vitality."   
  
"What? I'll have to show him, won't I?"  
  
"Hey. Sam's the one you need to show."  
  
the end  
  
copyright (c) 2003 Allie O'Neal 


End file.
